Bollywood Jokes SMS


People often talk about Rajnikant, but they forget about the antics and dialogues of our great Mithun da ..
Here are some amazing dialogues from Mithun da’s films. Enjoy !!!!

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” Bheegi hui cigarette kabhi jal nahi sakti…..

aur yeh tay hai ki teri maut ki taarikh tal nahi sakti ”

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“Apuun ka naam hai HEERA,

Apuun ne sab ko Cheera…” (wah wah…..)

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shetty: “kaun hai be tu?”

Mithun da says-

“Mai hoon tum jaise logon se nafarat karne wala,
Garibon ke liye jyoti, Gundon ke liye jwala
tuze banake maut ka Ek niwala,
tere sine mein gaad dunga mai maut ka bhala.
Mila doonga yamraj se tere ko salaaaa.” (what a poetry!!!!!)

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” kyunki ab mein Indrajeet nahi……chandaal hoon

tum chaho toh mera program note karlo

…tum sab meri diary mein mar chuke ho!

mein chahoo toh tum sabko abhi mar sakta hoon

magar abhi maarne se tumhe maarne ka credit meri bullet ko mil jayega!!!! ”

(kya logic hai!!!!!!!! !,superb! )

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” Main hoon Do Numbri, ek se jyaada, teen se kam

Dikhne mein bevda, bhaagne mein ghoda, aur maarne mein hathoda …. ” ( amazing )

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” Jitani tumane saanse li hongi, usase jyaada maine lashein girayi hai

(!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ??????? )

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Mantriji:- “Ye kanch bullretproof hai. tum mujhe chu bhi nahi sakte”

Mithun Da:-”Ye kanch bulletproof hai magar patthhar proof nahi”

AND HE BREAKS IT BY THROWING STONES ON THE GLASS.

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And the best one…………….

Mithun da gets a bullet on his leg, Looks at the villain scornfully, calmly stands up and says-

“DUSHMANO KI LAASHON PAR BHANGRA KARNE WALA KABHI LANGDA NAHIN HO SAKTA”

” Koi Shaq..??

Pani se Pyas na Buzi toh Mehkhane ki taraf nikla,
Socha k Shikayat karu teri Khuda Se,
lekin Khuda bhi tera Aashiq nikla….

Download The Shayari in Mp3 format Here

10. Kuttay, Kameenay mai tumhe jaan se maar doonga

9. Mai tumhara ehasaan zindagi bhar nahin bhuloonga

8. Itnay paisay tum kahan se laaye?

7. Main tumharay bina mar jaa-oongi.

6. Bacchhhaaaaaooooo. ….

5. Yeh anyay hai bhagwan

4. Bataoo, heeray kahan hai.

3. Tum mere liye mar chuke ho.

2. Police meeray peechay lagi hui hai.

—-> And the number one statement is ….
1. Mai tumharay bachhe ki maa ban-nay waali hoon.

Baabu Ji ne kaha Paaro ko shod do,Paaro Ne kaha sharaab shod do,Aaj tumne keh diya Haweli shod do,ek din aayega jab wo kahegi …duniya hi shod do. Maa mera haweli ke kissi bhi hisse par koi kak nahi…par mein tumhara hissa hoon,jise tum kabhi khud se alag nahi kar sakti.
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Ik ladki thi anjani si, ik ladke pe wo marti thi…
Jab milti thi wo mujhse , mujhse poocha karti thi ke pyar kaise hota hae pyar kaise hota hae aur mein bas yahi kehta tha….
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Itni shidaat se main tumhe paane ki koshish ki hai,
hi har zaare ne mujhe tumse milane ki saazish ki hai.
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Kehte hain ki …… Agar kisi cheez ko dil se chaaho to puri kayanat usey tumse milane ki koshish mein lag jaati hai.
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Aaj aap sabh ne mujhe meri chaahat se milaeya, thank you, thank you very much. Main aap sab ka shukar guzaar hoon.
Ki aapne mere kwabon ko yakeen mein badal diya, itna ki I feel like the King of thee World.
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Aur aaj, is baat ka bhi yakeen ho gaya, ki humari filmon ki tarah humari zindagi mein bhi end mein sab theek ho jaata hai.
Happys Endings. Aur agar, aur agar theek na ho to woh the end nahin hai dosto, picture abhi baaki hai.
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Senorita…
Bade bade desho mein aisi choti choti baatein hoti rehti hai.

Guide
Aaj Main Kitni Aazadi Mehsoos Kar Raha Hoon!
Jism Jaise Maange Karna Bhool Gaya;
Man Tadapna – Tadpaana Bhool Gaya;
Jeevan Aaj Jaise Mutthi Me Hai !
Maut Jaise Ek Khel Hai!
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Lagta Hai Aaj Har Iccha Puri Ho Gayi….
Par Ab Maza Dekho, Aaj Koi Iccha Hi Nahi Rahi !
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Zindagi Pighalkar Prakash Ban Gayi…..
Aur Sacchaai Mera Roop Hai !
Tan Rahe Na Rahe , Mai Rahoonga!
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Aag Mein Phek Do, Main Jalunga Nahi!
Talwaar Se Vaar Karo, Main Katunga Nahi!
Tum Ahankaar Ho, Tumko Marna Hoga;
Main Aatma Hoon, Amar Hoon!
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Maut Ye Khayaal Hai Jaise Jindagi ye Khayaal Hai !
Na Sukh hai, Na Dukh Hai
Na Deen Hai, Na Duniya
Na Insaan , Na Bhagvaan
Sirf Main Hoon, Main Hoon, Main Hoon,
Main Hoon…Main ..Sirf Main !!
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Anand

“Babu moshai, hum aane waale dukh ko kheench taan kar is pal main lee aate hain. Aisa kyon?”
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‘Anand mara nahi. Anand marte nahi’
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“Chela jaate jate guru ko sikhaa gayaa”
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“Babu moshai zindagi aur maut uparwale ke hath hai jahapana, jise na aap badal sakte hain na main. Hum sab to rangmanch ki kathputliyan hain jiski dor us upar wale ke haathon main hai kab, kaun kahan uthega ye koi nahin janta “
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