Hindi SMS – Dil Ki Baat, Shayarana Andaz!

Dekha tujhe to rooh khush ho gayi,
Ek kami thi vo bhi puri ho gayi,
Pagal hain vo log jo kehte hain ki,
Chimpanzi ki aakhri nasal kahin kho gayi!!

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Mere Dil, Jiger, Kidney, Liver ho tum
waqt-bewaqt aaye vo fever ho tum
Doob kar jisme marr jaoo vo River ho tum
Mere jeevan mein ab to forever ho tum?

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Shaam hote hi ye Dil udaas hota hai
Toote khwaboo ke siwa kuch na pass hota hai
Tumahri yaad aise waqt bohat aati hai
Bandar jab koi aas-paas hota hai..

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Vo aaj bhi hume dekh kar muskurate hain
Vo aaj bhi hume dekh kar muskurate hain
Yeh to unke bachche hee kaminey hain,
Jo Mama Mama kehke bulaate hain

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Ek ladki thi diwani si, sunder si lambi si,
Nazrein jhukake sharmake galion se guzra karti thi
latak matak chalti thi, aur kaha karti thi,
Bartan Lelo Bartan?.

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Woh hamari gali me aaye?
Woh hamari gali me aaye?
Woh hamari gali me aaye?
Aur chillake bole?..
Paper Raddi wala !!!!!

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Apni Surat ka kabhi to didaar de
tadap raha hu kabhi to apna pyaar de
Apni awaaz nahi sunani to mat suna
Kam se kam 1 Missed call hee maar de

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jab tum angdayi leti ho tho mera dum nikal jata hai
jab tum angdayi leti ho tho mera dum nikal jata hai
arey thoda deodrant lagane main tera kya jata hai

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Teray husn ki kya taarif karoo, tera bander jaisa hai moo
Teri zulfo ki kya taarif karoo, teray ek ek baal pe hai joo

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Hathi nay kaha ja kar hathni ki kabar per
Sadqey jaoon tumhari patli kamar per ?

Chaand ko garoor hai ki uske paas noor hai, to kya hua?. Mujhe bhi garoor hai ki mera Dost Langoor hai!
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Taza hawa ka jhoka aaya.. Khushbu teri sath laya?Phir mere dil me khayal aaya?Ke lagta hay ki?Aaj bhi tu.. Nahi ?NAHAYA?

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Apun 1 sher bolega, Choro Taraf Chand faakrela hai light, Boleto ho gayeli hai nighat, Band karne ka tube light, Aur soneka tight, Boleto, Bye Good Night..

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Abe o burai ke resgulle, Pap ki berfi , Bewafa ke laddu, Matlabi chuski,Badmashi ke pedhe, Jhoot ke kalakand.. Tu bada hi sweet hai re..

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Arz kya hai: Bahaar aane se pehle fiza aa gayi, ki bahaar aane se pahle fiza aa gayi, aur phool khilne se pahle?.bakri kha gayi..

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Kya aap.. Colse Up karte hain..? Kya aap Confidence se Chalte hai..! Kya aap Penalty Bharte hai?! ?MOBILE? k bill se derte hai..! To aap SMS kyuo nahi karte hai..!

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Tum Haste Raho, O Haste Raho, O Haste Raho, O Haste Raho, Muskarate Raho, Sada Khilkhilate Raho, Khush Raho, Mera Kya Hain, Log Tumhian hi! Paagal Kahenge! Ha Ha Ha!

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Bazu 0 me dam rakhta hun, Dil me gam rakhta hun, Aapki dosti k baad logo se wasta kam rakhta hun, Pata tha mujhe SMS aayega. Isliye disprin sath rakhta hun!

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Zindagi jaise ek saza si ho gayi hai, gamm ke saagar me is kadar kho gayi hai, tum kar do ek SMS yeh guzarish hai meri, tumari SMS ki adat si ho gayi hai.

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Jis mehfil mein khare hojai, waha Hrithik bhi jhukta hai, Kaho
Na Pyaar Hai, Kya mooh dukhta hai ? -

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Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya -Ki Paaglo ke stock mein Naya Maal Aaya -

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Kaun sa gham hai jo yeh haal bana rakha hai, na to makeup hai, na baalon ko sajaa rakha hai, aur khama-kha cherti rehti hai yeh rukhsaaron ko, Tum ne zulfon ko bohut sar pe chara rakha hai -

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Jis din se juda vo humse hue, is dil ne dharkna chor diya -hai chaand ka mooh bhi utra utra, taaro ne chamkna chor diya -

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Kon kehta hai dost ki tumse humari judaai hogi, yeh afwaah zaroor kissi dushman ne uraayi hogi, shaan se rahenge tumahre dil mein hum ne itne dino mein kuch to jagah banayi
hogi-

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Vo likhte hain humara naam mitti mein -aur mita dete hain, Unke liye ye khel hoga -magar hume to vo mitti mein mila dete hain?-

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Aap kya jaano hum kitna yaad karte hain, maano ya na maano har pal fariyaad karte hain, Roz khat likhte hain CARTOON NETWORK ko, aur aapko play karne ki maang karte hain?. waaaaahhhhhhhhh. ..

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yaad mein humne kalam uthaayi, liya paper aur tasveer aapki banayi, socha tha ki usko dil se laga kar rakhenge, magar vo to bacho ko draane ke kaam aayi?

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Bari asaani se dil lagaye jaate hain, par badi mushkil se waade nibhaye jaate hain, le jaati hai mohabbat un raaho par, jaha diye nahi dil jalaye jaate hain

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Aap jaise log hume kuch khas lagte hai. mann me har waqt
hum ek aas rakte hai, jaane kab aa jaye sms aapka, is liye cell ko dil ke pass rakte hai.. trinnnn trinnnnn trinnnnn trinnnnnn…

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Muskura do zara khuda ke vaste, sama-e-mahefil mai roshni kam hai, tum hamare nahi to kya ghum hai, hum tumhare to haiN ye kya kam hai?

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Aap aik brilliant, beautiful, genius, smart, nice, gud looking, intelligent, respectful, kind, ideal larkay/larki ka sms par rahe ho.

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Majnu Ko Laila Ka Sms Nahi Aiya..Majnu Ne 3 Din Se Khana Nahi Khaya..Majnu Marne Wala Tha Laila Ke Pyar Mai..Aur Laila Bethi Thi SmS Free Hone Ke Intezar Mai..

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5 great people: 1.Quaid, woh to ab rahe nahi 2.Wasim Akram, woh kisi kaam ka nahi, 3.Aishwarya Rai, apni pohanch say bahir. Baqi rahe aap aur hum So keep in Touch… rahoge naa ?

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Har karz dosti ka ada kaun karega? Hum na rahe to dosti kaun karega? E khuda mere doston ko salamat rakhna, Warna meri shaadi mein dance kaun karega?

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Tere DIL mein rahenge SMS bankar,Dhadkano mein bajenge RINGTONE bankar,Kabhi apne DIL se juda mut Samajana,Hum tere saath chalenge NETWORK bankar!

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Hum dua karte hain Khuda se, ki wo aap jaisa dost aur na banaye, Ek Cartoon jaisi cheez hai humare paas, kahin wo bhi common na ho jaye!

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Zindagi behaal hai, Sur hai na taal hai, Msg box bhi kangal hai, kya aapki sms factory me hartal hai, Yaar kuch to bhejo ye meri mobile ki zindagi ka sawaal hai.

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Unka ashiyana dil mein basa rakha hai, Unki yadon ko seene se laga rakha hai, Pata nahi yaad aate hain wohi kyun, Vaise dost to hamne auron ko bhi bana rakha hai.

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Dil mein umeedo ki shamma jala rakhi hai, Humne apni alag duniya basa rakhi hai, Is umeed ke saath ki ayega SMS aapka, Humne mobile par nazrein jama rakhi hein.

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plz dont be angry

Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.

Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.

Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?

Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.

Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?

Santa: Oye tujhe yeh bhi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja rahi ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI

Santa: Agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to mein Pagal ho jaaunga.

Jeeto: Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey?

Santa: Pagal ka kya hai, kuch bhi kar sakta hai

Napoleon: There is no such word as ‘Impossible’ in my dictionary.

Santa: To dictionary dekh kar kharidni thi …!

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?

Santa: Tipu’s skeleton.

Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?

Santa: That was Tipu’s skeleton when he was child

Sadhu: Bachcha teri biwi ko chuddail chipak gayee hai. Upaaye karvaao.

Banta: Upayaye? Baba, agar do behenein gale mil rahi hain to is mein harz hi kya hai ?

Banta: Yaar teri wife ki maut ka bara afsos hua, vaise hua kya tha?

Sant: Goli lagi thi mathe main.

Banta: Waheguru ji ka shukar kar ke aankh bach gayi.

Captain of Military: Naujawanon aage bado

Santa aage nahin bada

Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin bade?

Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein 10ve number pe tha

Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got

irritated… drank poison & said,

Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!

Museum Administrator: That’s a 500-year-old statue u’ve broken.

Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?

Santa: Suicide karne ke liye

Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?

Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye

Santa: Raat film main ek chudail kabhi mere aage, khabhi mere peechhe ghoom rahi thi…

Jeeto: Koun si film thi ?

Santa: Apni shaadi ki movie thi !

Santa: Doc saab, mein Chashma laga ke pad to sakoonga?

Doc: Haan, bilkul.

Santa: To phir theek hai doc saab varna Anpad aadmi ki zindagi bhi koi zindagi hai.
Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto, Banta asks: Y r u removing a

wheel from ur auto?

Santa: Can’t u read ‘Parking for two wheelers only

Pyar Ki Gadi me kabhi petrol nahi hota,
pyar k safarme kabhi panchar nahi hota.
Pyar jivan ki aisi gadi hai jisme
2 se jayada passenger nahi hota
`
Namaskar!
Apki Dosti ki Battery Low Ho Rahi Hai,
Kripya Aap 3 SMS KARKE TURANT RECHARGE KARE!
FROM:
DSNL
(Dosti Sanchar Nigam Ltd.)
`
Arz kiya hai,
Tu gaya uski gali main,
Tu gaya uski gali main,
Bola dil se dil laga Lo,
Jab dekha uski mummy ko to bola,
“Jute chappal” thik karva Lo.
`
AJ kal ladkiyo ke kapde
yaha se less waha se less,
kabhi sleevless to kabhi backless
or koi ladka ghur k dekhe to-
“Oh How Mannerless” !!

Pappu ek party mein gaya aur waha usne 8 butter naan kha liye.
Kuch der baad toilet mein pet pakad ke ro raha tha bhagwan se request kar raha tha ki, Hey bhagwan ya toh jaan nikal de ya naan nikal de!”
`
Ek larka apni girlfriend se milne gaya, kuch baat ke baad uski
girlfirend chaye(tea) banane ke liye kitchen chali gayi.
Girlfriend ka mobile sofay pe dekh kar larky ne socha ke
chalo dekhte hai mera number iss ne kis naam se save kya hai?

Dear, sweetu ya jaanu.
Jab usne misscall di toh screen pe likh raha tha “Murgha No.5? Calling”.

`
1 khwab ,1 pyar ,1 haqiqat ho tum .
Dosti me padnewali har zaroorat ho tum.
Jisko roj itne SMS karnepade,woh musibat ho tum.
`
Ab Aur Manzil Pane Ki Hasrat Nahi
Kisi Ki Yaad Me Mar Jane Ki Fitrat Nahi
Aap Jese Dost Jabse Mile
Kisi Aur Ko Dost Banane Ki Jarurat Nahi
`
Kuch dost palbhar me bhula diye jate hai
kuch dost pal-pal yad aate hai
hum apse yahi puchna chahte hai
k dosto ki is kataar me hum kaha aate hai
`
KHUSHI se dil ko aabad karna
GAM ko dil se aazad karna
Bas itni gujaarish hai aapse ki
ho sake to din mein ek baar yaad jaroor karna
`
Zindagi zakhmo se bhari hai,
waqt ko marham banana seekh lo.
Harna toh hai hi maut ke hatho ek din,
Filhaal zindagi ko jeena seekh lo
`
Har yado me usi ki yad rehti hai.
Meri ankho ko usi ki talash rhti hai.
kuch tum b dua kro yaro.
Suna hai dosto ki dua me farishto ki fariyad hoti hai…
`
Khusiyo ka ek sansaar leke ayenge,
Patjhar mein bhi bhar leke ayenge,
Jab bhi pukarenge aap pyaar se,
Zindgi se saansen udhar leke ayenge…
`
Thoda socha hai humne …
thoda jaana hai humne…
Mushkil se magar pehchana hai humne…
Koi aap jaisa na tha na hoga…
isliye dost aapko mana hai humne
`
Lamhe ye Suhane saath ho na ho,
Kal me aaj jaisi koi baat ho na ho,
Aapki dosti hamesha is DIL me rahegi,
Chahe kabhi mulakat ho na ho.
`
Itni dosti naa karo ki bigad jaye hum.
thoda danta bhi karo ki sudhar jaye hum.
ho jaye gar humse koi khata to ho jana khafa,
magar itna bhi nahi k mar hi jaye hum.
`
ZAMANE KI HAR JANNAT TUMHARI HOGI
YE AASMAAN YE ZAMI TUMHARI HOGI
MUJHSE KEH BHI NA PAOGE USKE PEHLE
MERE HISSE KI HAR KHUSHI TUMHARI HOGI
`
bikhri ankhon se moti hum piro na sake teri yaad me sari raat so na sake
beh na jaye ansuon me tasvir ye soch kar
hum ro na sake
`
Gum ki aahat bhi na aaye tere dar par,
pyar ka samunder ka tu bhi ek kinara ho,
kabhi bhool se jo tapke teri aankh se moti,
thame wohi jo tujhe sab se pyara ho !!!
`
Kisi mor pe ham ap ko khoney nahi denge..
Juda hona chaho to honey nahi denge…
Chandni raton man aye gi meri yad…
Meri yad ke wo pal ap ko soney nahi denge
`
Bhulana tumhe na asaan hoga jo bhule tumhe wo nadan hoga aap to baste ho ruh me hamari, bus aap hame na bhulana ye aapka ehsaan hoga.
`
aaj door se hi koi salaam kar gaya,
apni yadon ka gulaam kar gaya ,
apni zingagi girvi rakhi thi jiske paas,
aaj wohi hume nilaam kar gaye……..
`
Khuda ke Ghar se Kuch Gadhe farar hogaye
kuch to pakde gaye
kuch hamare yaar hogaye…

what is real love?
so i tell you a sweet story…..
ek sparrow ko ek white gulaab se pyar ho gaya,
usne gulaab ko propose kiya,
Gulaab ne javab diya ki jis din main laal ho jaunga us din main tumse pyarkarunga,
javab sun ke sparrow gulaab ke aas- pass kanto pe lotne lagi,
or uske khoon se gulaab laal ho gaya,
ye dekh gulaab ne bhi usse kaha ki vo bhi usse pyaar karta hai,
par tab tak sparrow mar chuki thi ,
that’s true love story..

Happy Valentines Day
Amit Dhingra

Pareshaan thi Chintu ki wife
Non-happening thi jo uski life
Chintu ko na milta tha aaram
Office main karta kaam hi kaam
`
Chintu ke boss bhi the bade cool
Promotion ko har baar jate the bhul
Par bhulte nahi the wo deadline
Kaam to karwate the roz till nine
`
Chintu bhi banna chata tha best
Isliye to wo nahi karta tha rest
Din raat karta wo boss ki gulami
Onsite ke ummid main deta salami
`
Din guzre aur guzre fir saal
Bura hota gaya Chintu ka haal
Chintu ko ab kuch yaad na rehta tha
Galti se Biwi ko Behenji kehta tha
`
Aakhir ek din Chintu ko samjh aaya
Aur chod di usne Onsite ki moh maya
Boss se bola, “Tum kyon satate ho ?”
“Onsite ke laddu se buddu banate ho”
`
“Promotion do warna chala jaunga”
“Onsite dene par bhi wapis na aunga”
Boss haans ke bola “Nahi koi baat”
“Abhi aur bhi Chintus hai mere paas”
`
“Yeh duniya Chintuon se bhari hai”
“Sabko bas aage badhne ki padi hai”
“Tum na karoge to kisi aur se karunga”
“Tumhari tarah Ek aur Chintu banaunga”
`
(WAKE UP CHINTU)

Dear subscribers,
You are kindly informed that Mr.Rahul’s mobile will be switched-off on 14.2.2010
(Valentines Day) to avoid unwanted proposals. Sorry :-p

Q. What do you call a fat lady waiting for a bus?
A. Moti-vating!!!

Q. What is the difference between WATCH & WIFE?
A. Ek bigadti hai to bandh ho jati hai… Doosri bigadti hai to ‘SHUROO’ ho jati hai

Q. Doctor: App ka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi hai.
A .Man: Hoga, zarur hoga; 25 saal se mera khoon jo pee rahi hai.

Q. What’s the similarity between MOBILE and MARRIAGE?
A. In both cases you feel ‘aur thoda ruk jata to accha model milta’

Q. Ek admi ne sadhu se kaha, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upaay bataiye.
A. Sadhu bola , saale, Upaay hota to main sadhu kyoon banta?

Pahala : Mere dadaji ki itani badi ladamani thi ki
sari duniya ke jaanvar usi me chara kha lete the
Dusra : Bus ? mere dadaji ke pass to itna bada
bambu tha ki wah aasmaan ko be chu leta tha.
Pahala : Kyun fenkata hai,tere dadaji use rakhte kahan the?
Dusra : Tere dadaji ki ladamani me.
`
Tinu : Kauwa telephone par baith kar
kanw kanw kyon kar raha hai?
Chinu : Lagta hai wah apani aawaj
dur tak pahunchana chahta hai.
`
Grahak : Chotu kya khana pakane me do gante lagate hai?
Chotu : Ji nahi,khana to teen din pahle he ban gaya tha,
ab to bus use garam kiya ja raha hai.
`
Kavi hraday doctor (Apane marij se) :
Kyon bhai raat ko nindra devi aai?
Marij (doctor se) : Pata nahi doctor sahab,
mai to kaafi pahale so gaya tha.
Ho sakta hai usake baad aai ho.
`
Saurabh: Kabhi kabhi mujhe apane charo or
andhera he andhera najar aata hai.
Gaurav : Aisa khastaur se kab hota hai?
Saurabh : Jab hamare ghar ki light chali jaati hai.
-Ganesh Kumble