Hindi SMS – Dil Ki Baat, Shayarana Andaz!

Koi Magrur hokar pita hai,
koi Mazabur hokar pita hai.
Kambakht is sharab ko pine ke bad he
Aadami asal Zindagi jeeta hai.

Har Ladki tere liye beqarar hai,
har Ladki ko tera Intzar hai,
ye tera koi kamaal nahi o mundiya,
kuch dinbaad Rakhi ka jo teohar hai…

Nice ringtones 4 rakshabandhan. . . . .
1) Rakhi Special
2) Haiye_Rakhi_Hom : Gujarati famous folksong good one.

1) He/she will never/seldom talk about his/her studies/syllabus.

2) The one who says “maine 8 mein se 3 hi unit kari hain..tune??” 30 mins before the exam.

3) He will say the word “REAPPEAR/BACK AA GAYI” without any sad expression.

4) The one who says to teacher “Sir, report maine khud banayi hai”..but goes blank when asked questions.

5) When asked about bad result in exams he/she replies ” Papa, hamare college mein teachers hi nahi hain..Jo hain wo bhi bekaar hain” with a firm face and then says to himself/herself “BACH GAYA”..

Six answers given by a GIRL when she is proposed.
1 Nahi
2 Mujhe waqt chahiye
3 I have always seen u as a friend
4 I already have a boy friend
5 We should concentrate on studies
6 Tum abhi tak mujhe jante kahan ho? Yeh infatuation hai.

Six answers given by a BOY when he is proposed..
1 Yes
2 Yes
3 Yes
4 Yes
5 Yes
6 Yes

This proves that guys are better humans than girls and they believe more in spreading love

Teacher: Tum bade hokar kya karoge ?
Student: shaadi..!!!!!!
Teacher: nahi, mera matlab hai kya banoge?…..
Student: dulha.!!!!!!!!!!!
Teacher: oh, i mean bade hokar kya hasil karoge?
Student: dulhan
Teacher: IDIOT mera matlab bade ho kar mummy papa k liye kya karoge?
Student- bahu laaunga
Teacher: stupid tumhare papa tumse kya chahte hai?
Student: pota
Teacher: he bhagwan, tumari zindagi ka kya maksad hai?
Student: hum do humare do.

Formula 1
Hamesha Ladki ke aankho se aankhen milakar hi baat kare, isse Ladkiyan impress hoti hai.

Formula 2
Ladkiyon se jab bhi mile ek pyaari si smile jarur kare.

Formula 3
Hamesha unki help ke liye taiyaar rahe.

Formula 4
unka Birth day kabhi naa bhule aur unhe koi Beautiful gift jarur de, yaa ek Rose.

Formula 5
uus par kabhi bhi gussa na kare, Hamesha pyaar se hi pesh aaye.

Formula 6
Ladkiyan Shayari pasand karti hai, isliye aksar unhe unki khubsurti par koi Shayari sunate rahe, aisa karte rahne se wo aapke pyaar me pagal ho jayegi.

Formula 7
unse hamesha achche Dress me hi mile, yaad rakhe aap ko bhi attractive dkhna padega.

Formula 8
agar aap ek hi class me hai to unko Study me yaa Notes banane me Help karte rahe, aisa karne se aap unke aur bhi karib aate jaenge.

Formula 9
Aap jab bhi unse mile unhe Hi yaa Hello yaa Shake hand karna na bhule, isse apna pan badata jaega.

Formula 100
Ladkiyon ko Good personality wale Ladke bahut achche lagte hai, issliye koi achchi si Gym me exercise kar apni Body ko attractive banaye. isse Ladkiyan aapko dekhte hi impress ho jaengi.

Formula 11
Agar aapke pass cell phone hai aur us ladki ke paas bhi ( jise aap patana chahte hai), to aksar usko Funny SMS yaa Love SMS yaa Friendship SMS bhejte rahe. aisa karne se aap unki yaado me bane rahenge.

Formula 12
Friendship aur Valentines day ko unhe hamesha wish kare aur ek Pyara sa Gift jarur de. aisa karna najdiki badane ke liye bahut jaruri hai.

Formula 13
Ladkiyon se hamesha Romantic mood me hi baat kare, aise baat kare jisse unhe lage ki aap ko unse baat karke bahut hi maza aa raha hai.

Formula 14
Hamesha unko Respect de, isse aap unki nazaron me ek achche Ladke bane rahenge, jo Ladki patane ke liye bahut hi jaruri hai.

Formula 15
Ladkiyon se kabhi mat sharmaiye, Maximum Ladki sharmile Ladko ko pasand nahi karti hai, issliye hamesha frankly unse mile.

Formula16
Apni Personality perfect rakhne ke liye hamesha chust durust dikhe, na ki sust yaa kaamchor. Ladkiyan furtile Ladko ko hi pasand karti hai.

Formula 17
agar Ladki Filmo ki shaukin hai to usse aksar Film ke hi bare me baate kare, isse wo aapse apni feeling bantkar khush aur impress hongi.

Formula 18
aap apne din ki shuruwat unhe ek mast Good Morning SMS bhejkar karen.

Formula 19
Raat ko sone se pahle ek Pyara sa Good Night SMS bhejkar bhi aap unhe impress kar sakte hai.

Formula 20
Ladkiyon se usi topic par baat-chit karo jis me use baat karne me maza aaye, isse wo aapse bahut samay tak baat kar sakti hai. aur aapki Dosti Pyar me bhi badal sakti hai.

Formula 21
Ladkiyon ke samne hamesha apna Cina taan kar chale, aisa karne se Mardangi jhalkti hai aur Ladkiyan Mardon ko hi pasand karti hai.

Formula 22
Ladkiyan darpok ladko ko pasand nahi karti hai issliye aap darna chhod de aar Ladkiyon se ek nidar ki tarah react kare.

Formula 23
agar Ladki aapse kuch mange to use jarur pura karne ki koshish kare, isse Ladkiyan aapse itni impress hongi jiski aap imagine bhi nahi kar sakte.

Formula 24
Unke Birth day par sabse pehle aap wish kare, isse wo aapko kabhi nahi bhul payengi.

Formula 25
Hamesha unse kisi na kisi bahane milte rahe, isse aap unki nazaron aur yaado me aksar bane rahenge.

Formula 26
unhe Dinner ya Lunch ke liye offer kare, ager wo agree ho jaye to unke pasand ke hotel me unke pasand ki dish order kare. wo turant aap par fida ho jayegi.

Formula 27
Ladkiyon se pehle Dosti karo baad me unse apne Dil ki baat kahna, Pyar ke mamle me patience se kaam le.

Formula 28
jab wo aap se baat kare to unki baato ko unki aankon me aankhen dalkar dhyanpurvak sune.

Formula 29
Agar Ladki aapki neighbor ho to roz subah unko dekhte hi Good Morning jarur kahe.

Formula 30
Agar Ladki aapki Class met ho to unse shake hand jarur kare.

Formula 31
Agar aap unke sath antakhari khele to unko target karke Loveable song jarur gaye.

Formula 32
Agar wo aapse raste par Lift mange to aap use jarur de, aur aise react kare jaise aap bahut jaruri kaam se ja rahe the Lekin unke liye aapne jaruri kaam chhod kar unhe Lift di, isse wo aap se Impress hue bina nahi rah sakegi aur aap use aasani se pata lenge.

Formula 33
agar wo koi problem me ho to sabse pehle unki help ke liye aap pahuche, ye Ladki patane ke liye jaruri sabak hai.

Formula 34
Ladkiyan bahut emotional hoti hai isliye unki emotion ki hamesha sammaan kare.

Formula 35
agar Ladki koi bhari kaam kar rahi hai to aap unki madad jarur kare. kaam me hath batane se Pyar badata hai.

Formula 36
agar School/College me unki Gaadi ka Petrol khatam ho gaya ho to aap apni Gaadi ka Petrol nikalkar jarur de.

Formula 37
unse hamesha hansi mazak karte rahe, Lekin ek limit me hi.

Formula 38
agar Ladki kahi paidal ja rahi ho to aap unhe apni Bike me Pahucha dene ka offer jarur kare, aisa impression jamane ke liye badiya mauka hai.

Formula 39
aap kisi Ladki ko bahut pyar karte hai to apni feeling ko Pink color ke paper par likhkar unhe jarur de, yaani unhe Love Letter likhe.

Formula 40
Maximum Ladkiyan Funny Ladke pasand karti hai, isliye aapko bhi Funny banana padega.

Formula 41
Jab bhi aap Ladkiyon se mile to unhe ek Mazedar Jokes jarur sunaye, yaa kuch Funny Shayari hi. (click here for Funny SMS & Funny Shayari Collection)

Formula 42
agar wo Morning walk karne jati hai to aap bhi uske sath sath walk karne jaye, subah ke mast mahaul me aap unse Mazedar baate kar unhe impress kar sakte hai.

Formula 43
agar unke paas cell phone hai to kisi bhi bahane unse Contact karte rahiye, aur SMS bhi bhejte rahiye. (click here for World’s largest collection of SMS)

Formula 44
agar unka tabiyat thik naa ho to unse milne jarur jaye, aur unka haal chaal jarur puche.

Formula 45
apne Birth Day me unhe invite karna na bhule, aur aaye to ye kahna “aap hi ka intzar kar raha tha, ab aap aa gai ho ab mai Cake katunga.

Formula 46
unke diye hue Gift ki tarif jarur kare, tarif karna Deep me Ghee dalne ke saman hai.

Formula 47
agar unka Mail ID aap jante ho to unko Mail karte rahe aur ye ehsas dilaye ki aap dinbhar unki hi khayalo me khoye rahte hai.

Formula 48
agar aap ko apne Padosan ko patana ho to unke ghar aate jate rahe aur jarurat padne par unki madad karte rahe.

Formula 49
agar Padosan ka bhai bhi hai to, Pehle uske bhai se Dosti karo, uske bhai ki nazaro me aap ek samajhdar Ladke ki tarah raho, isse aapka unke ghar aana jana laga rahega.

Formula 50
Har insan apni tarif sunana chahta hai, isliye aap Ladki ke har Chijo ki tarif karte rahe.

Formula 51
Ladkiyon se hamesha Confidence ke sath hi baat kare.

Formula 52
agar aap kisi Ladki ko Patana chahte hai to usse baat karne ki koshish kare. aur apni feeling ko kisi din Letter me likhkar unhe de do. isse Ladki aapke Himmat ki Kayal ho jayegi.

Formula 53
agar unka koi Nick name ho to aap unko Nick name se hi pukare. isse aap unko apne se lagenge.

Formula 54
Jab bhi aap unse mile to unko uske pasand ki Chocolate jarur de. Ladkiyon ke shauk pure karne se unko Patane me aasani hoti hai.

Formula 55
agar Ladki ice-cream khane ki shaukin ho to unko jarur isske liye offer karte rahe..

Formula 56
Ladkiyan agar group me ho to aap unhe (Jinhe Patana hai) hi dekhte rahe, aisa karne se wo bhi aap ke taraf attract ho jaegi.

Formula 57
agar aap kisi Ladki ko Propose karna chahte ho to, aap unka ek hath pakadkar unhe Red Rose dekar Propose kare. wo aap ka Proposal jarur accept kar legi.

Formula 58
unki har ada ki tarif jarur kare, wo jarur khush hongi.

Formula 59
Propose karna Mard ka kaam hai iss liye aap ye mat soche ki Ladki aakar aapko Propse karengi, Pahle aapko hi Propose karna hoga.

Formula 60
agar wo kabhi aapke ghar ke samne se gujre to use apne ghar jarur bulayen, aur Chaay ya Coffee jarur pilaye. isse wo aapke mehman navaji ki kayal ho jayegi.

Formula 61
agar aap unka ghar jante hai to Holi ke din uske ghar unke sath Holi khelne jana na bhule aur unke sath khub hansi mazak kare.

Formula 62
agar aap Party me kisi Ladki ko Patana chahte ho to, aap sabse pehle unse jakar mile aur apna Introduction de, isse dhire-dhire baat chit ka silsila shuru hoga aur aap use Pata lenge.

Formula 63

aap ki Padosan agar School/College jane ke liye nikal rahi ho to aap unke sang hole aur unse baat karte hue aap bhi jaye. aisa Continue 3 Dino tak kare aur 4th Din mat jana, wo 5th Din aapse jarur puchegi kal kyu nahi aaye. aur iss tarah mulakat se aap use Pata hi lenge.

Formula 64
Ladki Patane ke liye Confidence bahur hi jaruri hai isliye aap Pahle apne aap pe bharosa rakhiye ki aap use Pata kar hi Dumm lenge, aur aap apne Confidence ke bal par hi use Pata lenge.

Formula 65
Ladkiyan Patane ke liye apne aap me kuch quality paida kare, jaise Singing, Dancing, Body Building, Acting. quality hone se Ladki Patana bahut asan ho jata hai.

Formula 66
agar aap me koi buri aadat ho to use chhod de, bure Ladke pasand nahi kiye jate hai, isliye apni buri aadato ko chod de.

Formula 67
Ladkiyon ke samne kabhi bhi Smoking na kare aur na hi Drinking. ye baat hamesha yaad rakhe Ladkiyan Good Manners wale Ladko ko hi Pasand karti hai.

Formula 68
Ladkiyon ke samne kabhi bhi Gandi baate naa kare isse aapka unke samne ek bad boy ki image ban jaygi. aap unke samne Talented person ki tarah hi Behavior kare.

Formula 69
agar aap jante hai ki wo kis Film Hero ki Fane hai to aap usi Hero ke jaisi Hare Style rakhe aur usi ki tarah dikhne ki khoshish kare. Ladki aapse impress hogi hi.

Formula 70
aap hamesha unse sach bolne ki koshish kare, isse aap unhe sachche Ladke lagenge. jo ki impress karne ke liye jaruri hai.

Formula 71
aap unke prati hamesha vafadar rahe, har Ladkiyan ek vafadar sathi ki talash me rehti hai.

Formula 72
agar aapke makaan ke kiraye daar ko Patana ho to uske kuch mahine ka Kiraya maaf karde. isse aapki unse najdikiyan badengi. aur wo aapka ehsan mand ho jaengi

Formula 73
Ladkiyan hazirjawab Ladkon ko Pasand karti hai issliye aap hazirjawab dene wale person baniye.

Formula 74
Kai Ladkiyan filmo ki baate karna bahut pasand karti hai, aise Ladkiyon se aap unke pasand ki filmo ke baare me baate karke unhe impress kar sakte hai.

Formula 75
intelligent Ladko se Ladkiyan impress hoti hai issliye aap apni Study improve karke Ladkiyon ko impress kar sakte hai.

Formula 76
Ladkiyan Patane ke liye aapka General Knowledge Strong hona chahiye, GK Ladkiyon ko Patane me bahut hi Helpful hota hai.

Formula 77
Ladkiyan saaf suthri image wale Ladko ko Like karti hai issliye aap jhagde-jhanjhaton se dur hi rahe.

Formula 78
aap jis Ladki ko Patana chahte hai use agar koi pareshaan kar raha ho to aap us Ladki ki madad kare, isse wo Ladki aapse turant Pat jayegi.

Formula 79
agar wo koi khaas type ke Book read karne ki shaukin ho to aap use wo Book Gift kare (for exa. Comics, Film Magazines etc.). wo aapse jarur impress hongi aur aap unhe easily Pata lenge.

Formula 80
hamesha koi badiya Body Spray (Perfume) lagaya kare. aapke Body ki khushbu Ladkiyon ko aapki aur attract karegi

Formula 81
agar wo aapki kuch help kare to usse thanks jarur kahe. impression jamane ke liye ye chhoti-chhoti formalities bahut kaam aati hai.

Formula 82
agar aapke paas Bike ho to use hamesha saaf suthri rakhe, Ladkiyan Saaf suthri Bike me hi ghumna Pasand karti hai. issliye apne Bike ko attractive banaaye.

Formula 83
Aap Mobile set aisa rakhe jo aapki Personality ko suet kare. achhe Mobile set rakh kar Ladkiyon ko apni taraf attract kiya ja sakta hai.

Formula 84
apne cell phone ke wallpaper me unka Photo set kar ke rakhe, aur use dikhaye wo aapse jarur impress hongi.

Formula 85
aap kisi din unse ye kah kar ki “aap mujhe aapna autograph denge to ye meri khushnasibi hogi”. aap unka autograph mangkar unko impress kar sakte hai.

Formula 86
apne cell phone me koi Romantic Ring tone hi rakhe, Romantic Ring tone sunkar Ladkiyan jarur impress hoti hai. Ladkiyon ko Patane ke liye unhe impress karna bahut hi jaruri hai.

Formula 87
unke ghar ke paas se jab bhi gujre unhe dekhne ki koshish jarur kare. unhe ye ehsas dilana jaruri hai ki aap unme interest rakhte hai.

Formula 88
agar aap unse kahi mile aur unke sath me unke Parents ho to unke Paanv (charan) chhue. Ladki turant aapse impress hogi (agar Ladki JaanPehchan wali ho ussi condition me hi).

Formula 89
agar wo age me aapse chhoti ho phir bhi aap unse “AAP” kahkar hi baat kare. unhe lagna chahiye ki aap unka bahut respect karte hai.

Formula 90
unke sath kabhi bhi bahas nahi kare hamesha unki baat ka sath de. tabhi unko Pata sakte hai.

Formula 91
har Ladki apne Khubsurti ki tarif sunana chahti hai issliye aap unki khubsurti ka hamesha tarif karte rahe. ye Ladki Patane ka Super hit Formula hai.

Formula 92
aap unhe hamesha ye kahe ki wo Duniya ki sabse Beautiful Ladki hai. wo aap se hamesha khush rahegi aur easily set ho jayegi.

Formula 93
mere ek Dost ki 56 Girl Friend hai. usne un sabhi ko Patane ke liye jo Formula use kiya hai wo hai- “Ladkiyon se hamesha unke baare me hi baate karo”. wo hamesha Ladkiyon se unke hi baare me baate karte rahta tha aur Ladkiyan Pat gai.

Formula 94
unse kabhi bhi gandi baate na kare unse achhi baate hi kare, tabhi kamyabi milegi.

Formula 95
aap unse ye kahe ki aap unke liye kuch bhi kar sakte hai, wo aap se impress hogi hi.

Formula 96
Maximum Ladkiyan Clean shave kiye hue Ladko ko Like karti hai issliye sexy dikhne ke liye shave karte rahe.

Formula 97
Ladkiyon ko kabhi bhi ghur kar naa dekhe balki unhe hamesha Pyaar bhari nazaron se hi dekhe, Ladki aapki Diwani ho jayegi.

Formula 98
agar kabhi unke sath Film jane ka mauka mile to koi Romantic Film hi dekhne jaye, unke sath Romantic Film dekhi matlab Ladki Patti.

Formula 99
Ladkiyan apne Julfon (hair) ki tarif sunana Pasand karti hai, issliye unhe Patane ke liye unke Julfon par Shayari sunaye yaa tarif kare. (click here for Tarif Shayari)

Formula 100
aap unki sabhi baaton par agree kare unke kisi bhi baaton ko naa kaate, aap dono ke think milne ka ehsas dilakar bhi aap unhe aasani se Pata sakte hai.

Formula 101
aap unke sath hamesha unke baare me hi baate kare, aur unko special hone ka ehsas jarur dilaye, isse wo aapki Diwani ho jayegi

……..:::: :::::: best of luck :::::::::… ……

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Neha Ke Nyare Nyare Hindi SMS

Aapki dosti ko ehsaan maangte hai,
Nibhana apna imaan maangte hai,
Lekin ham wo nahi jo dosti me apni jaan de denge,
Kyonki dosto ko to ham apni jaan maante hai.
~`~
Chaand adhoora hai sitaaro ke bina,
Gulshan adhooraa hai bahaaro ke bina,
Samundar adhoora hai kinaaro ke bina,
Jeenaa adhoora hai tum jaise yaaro ke bina.
~`~
Chaahta hu tujhe pyaar du,
Dost pe apni jindagee waar du,
Jab tera message nahi milata to,
Man karta hai teri jaan nikaal du.
~`~
Phool nahi ham kaanto me baste hai,
Khushi nahi ham gam me haste hai,
Shaayri karna aasaan nahi dard dil me hota hai
Tab shaayar bante hai.
~`~
Chaand ko akele me sharm aati hogi,
Baat kuch tumhaare bhi samajh me aati hogi,
Jab bhi jikra hota hai smart dosto ka,
Tumhe meri yaad bahut aati hogi.
~`~
Jaate jaate wo koi achi nishaani de gaye,
Umar bhar dohra saku aisi kahaani de gaye,
Ham to reh gaye pyaase,
Paye hamaari palko ko wo paani de gaye..
~`~
Chune se koi cheez apni nahi hoti,
Har muskuraahat khushi nahi hoti,
Kehna to chaahte hai bahut kuch magar,
Kabhi alfaaz to kabhi jubaan saath nahi hoti.
~`~
Kaun kehata hai mohabbat ki jubaan hoti hai,
Labo ke bina khule hi hakeekat bayaan hoti hai,
Ishq wo khudaai hai dost jo lafjo se nahi
Aankho se bayaan hoti hai.
~`~
Har khafa har berookhi ko tumhaari mohabbat samajhate hai,
Har naarajgi har doori ko tumhaari chaahat samajhate hai,
O sanam ham to sirf tum se hi pyaar karate hai.
~`~
Karte hai tujhe pyaar karte hi rehenge,
Bewafa duniya se ham ladate hi rahenge,
Ae bhool jaao tujhko ye mere bas me nahi,
Chaha hai tujhe ham chaahte hi rahenge…
~`~
Chehre par banaawat ka gussa,
Aankho se chalakta pyaar bhi hai…
Is ishq-e-ada ko kya kahiye inkaar bhi hai…
ikaraar bhi hai.
~`~
Aankho ki saja tab tak jab tak deedaar na ho,
Dil ki saja tab tak jab tak pyaar na ho,
Ye jindagi bhi ek saja hai,
Jab tak aap jaisa yaar na ho.
~`~
Apna khushi se nahi gam se bhi rishta hai mera,
Ye to aapki jindagee he wo ek hissa hai mera,
Ae dost aapse lafjo ka nahi rooh ka rishta he mera.
~`~
Kisi ne hame aashiq kaha,
Kisi ne hame deewaana kaha,
In aankho me aansu tab aaye,
Jab unhone hame begana kaha.
~`~
Aap jaise dost kuch khaas lagate hai,
Man main har waqt ek aas rakhte hai,
Jaane kab aa jaaye SMS aapka,
Isaliye cell ko dil ke paas rakhte hai.
~`~
Mohabbat me marna kaam na aaya,
Dil or jaan bhi di phir bhi aaraam na aaya,
Har shakhs tha mere saath par
Ek uska hi paigaam na aaya.
~`~
Yaado ke haseen pal mitaaye nahi jaate,
Gujare huye lamhe bhoolaye nahi jaate,
Tum laakh karo mohabbat ki naseehat,
Jo jaan se pyaare ho bhoolaye nahi jaate.
~`~
Apni bebasi par aaj rona aaya,
Doosro ko kya maine apno ko aajmaya,
Har dost ki tanhaai door ki,
Lekin khud ko har mod par akela paya.
~`~
Toone mujhse kyon daga ki,
Mere pyaar ki tune mujhe ye kaisi saja di ki
Har din gujarta hai mera tanahaaiyo me,
Maine to chaaha tha tujhako dil ki gehraaiyo se.
~`~
Unko pyaar karne ka hisaab na aaya,
Meri kisi bhi baat ka jawaab na aaya,
Ham to jaagte rahe unke hi khyaalo me,
Aur unko so kar bhi hamara khwaab na aaya.
~`~
Wo aate to hai par samay se nahi,
Wo chalte to hai par man se nahi,
Kaun kehta hai ki wo pyaar nahi karte,
Karte to hai par ham se nahi.
~`~
Aasmaan se utaari hai, taaro se sajaai hai,
Chaand ki chaandni se nahaai hai,
Mere dost! sambhaal ke rakhna ye dost
Ye meri jindagee bhar ki kamaai hai.
~`~
Ae mere SMS mere dost ke paas jana,
Agar wo so raha ho to shor mat machana,
Jab wo jaage to dheere se muskurana,
Phir dil ka haal batana- miss you.
~`~
Aaj phir dil hai kuch udaas udaas,
Jaane kyon ek maayusi si chaayi hai,
Aaj phir palko pe paani hai,
Bheed me hu phir kyon ye tanhaai hai.
~`~
Mehafil main jab dekha achanak unko,
Unse gujar kar aati hawa sharaab hone lagi,
Unhone aake haal pooch liya mera,
Jaane kyon meri haalat kharaab hone lagi.
~`~
Intajaar uska jiske aane ki koi aas ho,
Khooshbu bhi us phool ki jo mere paas ho…
Manjil na mil saki hame to koi gam nahi…
Gam bhi usi shakhs ka hota jise pyaar ka ehasaas ho.
~`~
Tujhe dekhna chaahti hu har pal
Shaayad tujhse bahut pyaar karti hu
Kal tak to tujhe jaanti bhi na thi
Aaj tera intajaar karti hu…
~`~
Pyaar ke ujaale me gam ka andhera aata kyon hai,
Jisko ham chaahe wahi roolata kyon hai,
Agar wo mera naseeb nahi,
To khuda aise logo se milata kyon hai?
~`~
Sehmi-sehmi nigaaho me khwaab ham jaga denge,
Sooni-sooni raaho pe phool ham khila denge,
Aap hamaare sang muskurakar to dekho,
Aapka har gam ham bhoola denge.
~`~
Tanhaai hai pyaar me, barbadi hai pyaar me,
Aansu hai pyaar me, bebasi hai pyaar me,
Hame sab pata hai lekin kya kare,
Ham bhi hai pyaar me.
~`~
Teri yaad me bahut paigaam likhate hai,
Teri yaad me gujaari wo shaam likhate hai,
Wo kalam bhi teri deewaani ho jaati hai,
Jis se tera naam likhate hai.
~`~
Is “dil” me dekho tasweer tumhaari hai,
In “aankho” me dekho tasweer tumhaari hai,
Jee rahe hai ab tak apni marjee se,
Lekin ye maut “amaanat” tumhaari hai.
~`~
Man me sabka aramaan nahi hota,
Har koi dil ka mehmaan nahi hota,
Par jo ek baar dil me sama jaaye
Use bhoolana aasaan nahi hota.
~`~
Jindagee tere bagair adhoori si lagti hai…
jindagee jeene ke liye teri jaroorat si lagti hai,
Aa jaa phir se laut kar meri jindagee me tu,
Meri aankhen aaj bhi pyaar ko wo din dhoonda karti hai.
~`~
Jaati nahi hai aankhon se soorat teri,
Jaati nahi hai dil se mohabaat teri,
Mehasoos ye hota hai jeene ke liye,
Pehale se jyada hai ab jaroorat teri.
~`~
Kitna haasil hai sanam tera ye muskura dena,
Najare milakar phir najare jhuka dena,
Kaise kahu ki kitana aasaan hai tere liye,
Qayamat ki bijaliya gira dena.
~`~
Koi itna chaahe tumhe to batana,
Koi itana palko pe bithaaye to batana,
Pyaar kar to lega har koi,
Par koi meri tarah nibhaaye to batana.
~`~
Kaash banaane waale ne hame aansu banaya hota,
Aur “usaki” aankh me basaya hota,
Jab girate unaki aankh se unki god me,
To hame marne ka maza aaya hota…
~`~
Kabhi jindagee ke pano ko ulta kar dekhiyega,
Aapko ek shakhs se, na dil se hota hai,
Ye pyaar to ittefaak se hota hai,
Or kya kahe pyaar karke bhi pyaar na mile,
Ye ittefaak sirf hamaare hi saath hota hai…?
~`~
Toofaan me logo ko kinaare bhi milate hai,
Jahaan me logo ko sahaare bhi milate hai,
Duniya me sabse pyaari hai jindagee
Kuch log jindagee se pyaare bhi milate hai.
~`~
Dekh meri aankho me khwaab kiske hai,
Dil me mere sulakhate toofan kiske hai,
Nahi gujra koi aaj tak is raaste se
Ho kar phir ye kadmo ke nishaan kiske hai.
~`~
Jab ho aapka pyara sa saath aur
Ho haatho me haath, tanhaai ho…rangeen,
Ho sama jaha koi aur nahi sirf aap aur ham ho waha,
Tab hogi barsaat pyaar ki, mere aur sirf mere pyaar ki.
~`~
Shaam utari jindagee gaane lagi,
Maut ko phir neend aane lagi,
Phir kisi ki yaad ka deepak jala aur
Andheri raat muskuraane lagi.
~`~
Dost jindagee ke kisi mod par mulaakaat hui,
To najar na chura lena,
Aapko kahi dekha hai bas
Ye keh kar bhoola lena.
~`~
Jis duniya me baste ho tum,
Usi duniya me baste hai ham,
Magar khuda ki kudrat dekho,
Tumhi se milane ko taraste hai ham.
~`~
Agar talaash karoge to koi mil hi jaayega,
Magar kaun hamaari tarah tumahe chaahe ga,
Tumhe jaroor koi chaahto se dekhega,
Magar wo aankhen hamaari kahan se laaye ga.
~`~
Kisi ko mohabbat ki achaayi ne maar dala,
Kisi ko mohabbat ki gehraahi ne maar dala,
Bach na saka is mohabbat se koi,
Jo bach gaya use tanhaai ne maar dala.
~`~
Kisi bhi mod par ham aapko khone nahi denge,
Juda hona bhi chaahe, chaandni raato me,
Aayegi hamaari yaad, hamaari yaad ke wo pal,
Aapko sone nahi denge.
~`~
Khushi aap ke liye-gam mere liye,
Jindagee aapake liye-maut mere liye,
Muskurana aap ke liye-aansu mere liye,
Sab kuch aapke liye or aap mere liye.
~`~
Tanhaaiyo me jikra tera hi aaya hai,
Tu nahi jaanti tujhme main kya paya hai,
Phoolo sa sundar rishta hai aur ek aapka waqt hai jisme,
Hame yaad karne wala pal hi nahi aata?

Neha Shah

Santa- “Kal aapne apne bache ko bahut pita|
Aakhir aisi kya baat ho gayi thi usse?”
Banta- “Darhasal do din baad us badmaash ka
result nikalne waala hai aur mai aaj hi ek
mahine ke tour par jaa raha hu|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Santa- “Meri patni mera itna khyaal rakhti
hai ki kal mehmaano ke vidaa hone ke baad jab
maine usse kaha ki garam paani ka jaldi praband
kare to usi wakt paani garam kar diya|”
Banta- “Waah! Lekin us samay bechaari ko paani
garam karne ka kasht kyu diya?”
Santa- “Kyuki mai thande paani se bartan
nahi dho sakta tha|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Hadbadi me kahi jaate dekhkar ek yuvti
ne apne Doctor pita se poocha- “Kya baat hai
papa? Aap itni jaldi me kaha jaa rahe hai?”
Doctor- “Abhi-abhi ek vyakti ka phone aaya tha,
keh raha tha ki haaye, mai mar jaaunga… turant aa jao|”
Navyuvti ne sharmakar kaha- “Papa…vah…vah
phone aapke liye nahi mere liye tha|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Putra- “Pitaji, mai nadi me aage jaaunga|”
Pita- “Nahi, doob jaaoge|”
Putra- “Nahi dooboonga, mujhe tairna aata hai|”
Pita- “Yadi doob gaya to ghar jaakar teri khoob pitai karunga|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Achaanak bijli chali gayi to mombattiya jala
di gayi| garmi tej thi| isi beech ek mehmaan
ne kaha- “Bhai, pankhe to chala do|”
Mejbaan ne mudkar badi gambheerta se kaha-
“Pankhe chalane se mombattiya bujh jayengi|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Ek lamba tagda bahut hi mota vyakti darji ki
dukaan par pahucha|
Darji ne badi kathinayi se naap lekar haafte hue kaha-
“Janaab, is shervani ki silaai ke sau rupaye honge|”
Mota vyakti- “Parantu tumne Telephone par pachas
rupaye bataye the|”
Darji ne pasine pochte hue kaha- “Ji haan bataye to the,
parantu shervani ke bataye the, shaamiyaane ke nahi|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Shikshak- “Maan lo, tum jungle me khade ho,
isi beech sher aa jaye to tum kya karoge?”
Chaatra- “Sir, mai kya karunga? Jo kuch karega,
sher hi karega|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Chaatra (ganit ke adhyaapak se)- “Sir, hindi waale
Teacher hindi me bolte hai aur angreji waale
angreji me, phir aap ganit me kyu nahi bolte?”
Adhyaapak- “Chup baith jao, jyaada teen paanch karoge
to claas se nau do gyaarah kar dunga|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Putra se naaraaj hote hue pita ne kaha- “Nalaayak!
prem-patra maine bhi khoob likhe the magar…|”
Putra- “Magar kya pitaji?”
Pita- “Teri tarah galat vyaakaran nahi
likha karta tha|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Putra- “Pitaji, mere liye dhol kharid dijiye|”
Pita- “Kharid sakta hu, par waada karo ki
tum mujhe pareshaan nahi karoge|”
Putra- “nahi pitaji, mai aapko bilkul pareshaan
nahi karunga| Aapke so jaane ke baad
hi use bajaunga|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Ladka- “Mai jo kaam karta hu, apne aapko
usme dubokar karta hu|”
Ladki- “To aap baraya meharbaani
jaakar ek kuaa khodiye|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Santa- “Doctor saahab! Suna hai aajkal
saap ke kaatne ka ilaaj ho jaata hai?”
Doctor- “Sabka ilaaj ho jaata hai|”
Santa- “Kuch to aisa jaroor hoga,
jiska ilaaj nahi hai?”
Doctor- “Haan! Aurat ke kaatne ka
koi ilaaj nahi hai|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Geeta- “Seeta, meri ghadi kho gayi,
kya tumne kahi dekha hai?”
Seeta- “Nahi, chalti thi ya band thi?”
Geeta-”Chalti thi|”
Seeta- “Tab jaroor kahi chalkar gayi hogi|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Beta- “Pitaji, koi aaya hai|”
Pita- “Kaun?”
Beta- “Koi mooch waala hai|”
Pita- “Keh do, nahi chahiye|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Premi- “He priye, is baar mai pariksha
me fail hona chaahta hu|”
Premika- “Kyu?”
Premi- “Yadi mai first aaya to pitaji ne mujhe
science dilvaane ko kaha hai, second aaya to commerce
dilvayenge, agar third aaya to arts dilvayenge aur
agar fail ho gaya to tumhaare saath shaadi kar denge|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Santa- “Doctor saahab, mujhe barabar yahi sapna
dikhta hai ki mere paas se hokar sundar-sundar
ladkiya teji se bhaag rahi hai|”
Doctor- “Usme mujhse kya chaahte ho?”
Santa- “Aap aisi dava deejiye ki ya to un ladkiyo
ki raftaar kuch kam ho jaye ya meri badh jaye|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Mahesh- “Mere bhai ka koi baal baanka
nahi kar sakta|”
Kamal- “Kya vah bahut bahaadur hai?”
Mahesh- “Nahi, vah ganja hai|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Judge- “Tum sweekar karte ho ki tumne apni patni
ko peeta hai|”
Abhiyukt- “Ji hujoor! Sweekar karta hu|”
Judge- “Thik hai, tum par pachaas rupaye pachaas paise
jurmaana kiya jaata hai|”
Abhiyukt- “Hujoor, pachaas rupaye to samajh me aaye,
lekin pachaas paise kis baat ke?”
Judge- “Vah manoranjan kar hai|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Pita- “Dekho beta, tum kabhi shaadi na karna,
yah baad me bahut badi musibat paida kar deti hai|”
Beta- “Haan pitaji, mai kabhi shaadi nahi
karunga aur yahi shiksha apne bete ko bhi dunga|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Chaandni raat ke romantic palo me premika ne kaha-
“Kaash! Agle janam me mai chaand banti!”
Premi- “Aur mai chandrama par utarne waala
pehla antriksh yaatri!”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Pita- “Bete, tumhaare dadaji ne shaadi ki aur pachtaye,
maine shaadi ki aur pachta raha hu, tum kya karoge?”
Beta- “Ji, vansh parampara nibhaunga| Shaadi karunga
aur phir pachtaunga|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Santa- “Suna hai, tumhari patni ko naukri mil gayi?”
Banta- “Haa|”
Santa- “Kaam kya karti hai?”
Banta- “Logo ko chadati-utaarti hai|”
Santa ne hairat se poocha- “Kya…?”
Banta ne baat ki safai ki- “Bus conductor ho gayi hai|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Bhikhari (apne bete se)- “Bete, yadi hamari saat
laakh ki lottery khul gayi to sabse pehle makaan
kharidunga, phir apne aur tum sabke liye naye-naye
kapde silvaunga| Iske alaava…|”
Beta (pita ki baat beech me kaat ta hua)- “Iske
alaava papa ek car kharid lena| Hum log usme
baithkar bhikh maangne chala karenge, kyunki mai
paidal chalte-chalte thak jaata hu|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Bar me ek aadmi ne ek kutte ke saath kadam rakha|
Bartender- “Yah gadha yaha kyu laye ho?”
Aadmi- “Andhe ho kya? Yah tumhe gadha dikhai de raha hai?”
Bartender- “Mai tumse baat nahi kar raha hu,
mai kutte se baat kar raha hu|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Chotu- “Tumhara kutta bahut sharaarti hai|
kya tum ise thik nahi kar sakte?”
Tinku- “Yaar! Dhairya rakho| Yaad nahi, tumhe
thik karne me mujhe kitne din lage the|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Doctor- “Tum kya tankhwa chaahti ho?”
Nurse- “Teen sau rupaye mahina|”
Doctor- “Teen sau rupaye mai anand ke saath de
sakta hu|”
Nurse- “Anand ke saath to mai chaar sau rupaye lungi|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Santa- “Tumhare dil ki taklif ka kya
haal hai?”
Banta- “Aji, aajkal vah maayke me hai|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Santa- “Achaa hua, mai Maharashtra me
paida na hua|”
Banta- “Wo kyu?”
Santa- “Kyuki mujhe to Marathi ka ek akshar
bhi nahi aata|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Workshop me Deviji dheele-dhaale kapde pehankar aayi
to operator ne kaha- “Deviji, ye dheele-dhaale kapde
pehankar na aaya kijiye, machine me fas jaane ka dar hai|”
Deviji- “Janaab, agar mai tight kapde pehankar
aaungi to doosre logo ka machine me fasne ka dar hai|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Ek Fauji officer ko kisi lambi duty par desh se
baahar bheja gaya| Jab pardesh me rehte huye bahut
din ho gaye to ek din use ek patra mila jisme likha
tha- “Chalte samay maine aapko jo photo di thi,
vah vaapas kar dijiye, mai bank manager se shaadi
karna chaahti hu|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Santa seedi par chade hue ghar ki chat pot rahe
the| Banta vaha aaya|
Banta- “Santa, tumne brush majbooti se
pakda hua hai na?”
Santa- “Haan! Kyu?”
Banta- “Mai thodi der ke liye seedi le jaa raha hu|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Putra- “Pitaji, kal maine teen makhiya maari
thi, jinme do maada thi aur ek nar|”
Pita- “Lekin beta, tumhe ye kaise pata chala ki
unme do maada thi aur ek nar?”
Putra- “Badi seedhi-si baat hai, ek makhi
aapki whisky ki botal par baithi thi,
baaki do aaine ke saamne mandra rahi thi|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Seeta- “Behan, aajkal to mujhe saari raat jaagna
padta hai, kyuki mere pati beemaar hai|”
Geeta- “To koi nurse kyu nahi rakh leti?”
Seeta- “Nurse rakhi hai isliye to jaagti hu|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Yuvak- “Kya aap mere saath dance karengi?”
Yuvti- “Mujhe khed hai, mai bache ke saath dance
nahi kar sakti|”
Yuvak- “Oh! maaf kare, mujhe aapki haalat ka
pata nahi tha|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Pappu- “Papa, raat ko maine ek sapna dekha,
aapne mujhe das rupaye diye hai|”
Papa- “Chal aath aana jebkharch kaatkar saadhe
nau rupaye vaapas kar|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Patni ka honth upar se thoda kat gaya| Doctor
ne dawai lagaakar taanke laga diye| Pati chupchap
dekhta raha| Phir usne Doctor ke kaan me kaha-
“Doctor saahab, dono hontho ko taanke lagaakar
seene ki aap kitni fees lenge?”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Shyaam- “Pitaji, swatantrata divas kab aata hai?”
Pita- “Jab tumhari mummy ghar me nahi hoti|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Raat ke baarah baj chuke the| Bacha abhi tak
soya nahi tha|
Bacha- “Mummy, mujhe kahani sunao|”
Mummy- “Thodi der aur thehar beta| Abhi tere
papa aayenge aur hum dono ko ek kahani sunayenge|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Santa- “Papa! Shaadi me kul milakar kitna
kharch hota hai?”
Pita- “Pata nahi beta, mai abhi tak chuka
raha hu|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Mehmaan- “Tum to kehte the ki tumhare yaha
machar pareshaan nahi karte| Lekin tumhara
ghar to macharo se bhara pada hai|”
Mejbaan- “Haan! Lekin ve hame pareshaan nahi
karte| Hum unke aadi ho chuke hai|”

Suhani Sharma

Banta to Doctor : Doctor Sahab! Mein apna dimag daan karna chahta hu.
Doctor : Hoga to hum le lenge .

Son to Dad : Papa, Mein itna bada kab hounga ki mein mummy se bina puche
bahar ja saku?
Papa : Beta abhi itna bada to mein bhi nahi hua!!!

Autowala to Santa : Sahab, 100 rupaye ho gaye.
Santa ne 50 rupaye autowale ko de diye.
Autowala : Sahab ye to gundagardi hai, meter ki hisab se 100 rupaye hue hai.

Santa : Tu bhi to baithkar aaya hai, tera kiraya bhi kya mujhe dena
parega!!!

Ek din Santa ne apni premika ko himmat jutakar keh dala – I love you.
Premika(Gusse se) : Jara pyar se nahi keh sakte?
Santa : I love you Didi!!!!

Girl : Tum ladke kisi bhi ladki me sabse pehle kya dekhte ho?
Boy : Ye to depend karta hai ki ladki aa rahi hai ya ja rahi hai!!

Dur gaon me jab maa baap sote nahi the,
to bacha kehta hai, so ja bapu,
so ja, warna ek aur ho jayega!!!

Girl-to-Boy – Aaye bewafe tune sab kuch saaf kar diya,
mera dil jala kar rakh kar diya
Boy-to-Girl – Aye ladki, teri kurbani bekar nahi jayegi,
bhej de rakh mujhe, bartan manjne ke kaam aayegi.

Pati aur patni ghumne gaye. Raaste me ek gadhe ko ghaas kata
dekh patni ne pati se kaha – Oo G tumhara rishtedaar ghaas
kha raha hai, namaste karo.
Pati – Namaste Sasur Ji

Santa ne Banta se kaha,”Sabse bada challenge kya hai?”
Banta replied – Answer sheet ko khaali chod do aur last me likh dena,
paas karke dikha.

Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Bhola: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Bhola: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai and jumps into the well.
Bhola: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?

Teacher : Santa batao `M’ for kya hota hai?
Santa : Sir, Mother!
Teacher : Right! Aab batao W for kya hota hai?
Santa kuch sochne lagta hai
Teacher : Santa kya soch rahe ho?
Santa : Sir, mein yeh soch raha tha ki Maa ulti kaise ho gayi?

Teacher : Santa ye batao tense kitne tarah ke hote hai?
Santa : Teen maidam.
Teacher : Teeno ke ek-ek example batao.
Santa : Madam, meine kal aapki beti ko dekha tha. Aaj mein ussey pyar karta
hu aur kal mein ussey bhaga kar le jaunga.

–
Farzana Khalid